August 22

Day 161: Giving Ourselves Permission

John 5 tells us the story of an interaction between Jesus and an invalid. Before healing him, Jesus asks "Do you want to be healed?"

Playing the role of Captain Obvious, any of us reading that would respond with, "Of course, Jesus!" But our Lord knows something we don't. He knows our hearts better than we do ourselves.

In asking the invalid if he wants to be made well, He's really asking him to quantify and qualify his version of wellness.

Now while the invalid responds to the question with excuses as to why he's not well, he really does not answer the question. Perhaps this would be true of us too.

Two thoughts. We all have a tendency to make excuses, because we don't want to own the responsibility. If we can pass the blame, we can continue to affirm ourselves.

But, it goes deeper I think. The real issue may be that we cannot envision too far beyond ourselves. In turn, we may be drawn to ask for improvement of the present condition, rather than wholesale transformation.

Think of a poor man, living in a shack, coming into some inheritance money, and building a bigger shack.

In the invalid's case, he may have limited himself to ask Jesus only for a more comfortable mat to lay upon. Or maybe he just wanted other people's attention and cooperation; an improved set of circumstances. Not a new life.

But Jesus asks, "do you want to be healed?" What I am trying to get at? We ask for too little, because we fear what wholesale change in us could mean.

Ephesians 3 tells us as much. In verse 20, a benediction of sorts begins with, "Now to Him who is able to do far more abundantly that all that we ask or think..."

Meaning, Jesus can (and wants to) do more than any of us can conceive or envision; perhaps safe to say, more than we may even want.

Thus, we are easily satisfied with a higher quality of dirt, instead of cleanliness. We would rather Jesus put a nice showroom sheen on our idols, instead of seeing those idols as lesser things to be abandoned. We can ask for a more favorable death spiral, instead of abundant life.

I can be guilty of not asking for "too much." I seem to stay within self-imposed limits on what I think is actually achievable. I'm afraid to ask for more, because I don't like to be disappointed.

Would I like our church to have a permanent building of our own? Of course! But I'm afraid to ask. Or at least I don't ask often. I might end up disappointed if it is not the Lord's will for us to have such.

Maybe you relate to me. Maybe you also struggle with envisioning a broader picture of what our Lord wants to do in and through us, individually and collectively.

Maybe we all need to renounce our excuses, and instead pray with more faith.

Knowing that "His Kingdom come, His will be done" may include some amazing things that we had never given ourselves permission to ask or think.

-Mike Rydman, Lead Pastor, Radiant Church | Juneau