April 1

Day 18: When will some of us crash?

I laughed out loud this morning when I read Psalm 38:11..."My friends and companions stand aloof from my plague, and my nearest kin stand far off." Like we all can't relate, eh?

Get ready for a bunch of long sentences. My departed (former high school English teacher) Mother would red pen everything that follows.

I'm not much of a futurist, but I'm imagining something that will look like a crash at some point in the future. Church pastors and leaders are trying so hard to keep their churches and networks and denominations together, connected, well-informed, encouraged, and funded.

All of these leaders (perhaps me too) are running on adrenaline. Strong leaders seem to show their strength in crisis and chaos. You will see leaders you've heard of, people you've admired run out of juice. We may see churches and larger organizations finally emerge from this plague dealing with their own leaders having completely flattened.

And...the smaller the church, perhaps the more adrenaline its leaders are expending.

I have always tended to be a delayed response kind of guy. Sometimes days if not weeks after helping myself and other navigate a crisis point, I crash and burn. Not my most admirable character quality.

Yesterday, I turned down an opportunity to serve the "greater Church," something I really wanted to do. I finally admitted to Deb that I didn't have the margin, the bandwidth, the emotional energy to serve other pastors representing places all over North America. In my "turn down text" to very dear friends I jokingly said, "Well, here's the end of my world-wide ministry...that I never had anyway." (The recipients never responded to that line. That says something.)

Recapturing my margins, and finding strength not fueled by adrenaline isn't helped by sitting on the couch and turning the music up loud. The stuff I'm reading (as I tend to be reading several books at a time) isn't helping either. I've got to find it somewhere else.

Psalm 5:11-12 says, "But let all who take refuge in you rejoice; let them ever sing for joy, and spread your protection over them, that those who love your name may exult in you. For you bless the righteous, O LORD; you cover him with favor as with a shield."

I need refuge (from thinking I have to be and do everything.) I want to sing for joy, as God spreads His protection over me.

But this is an inferred promise of God that comes with limited parameters. It is reserved for those who "love His name." In this sense, "love" means to "seek," to "cherish" and to "hold on to;" like holding on to a tree during a tornado.

But see this also...He blesses the righteous, not because they come to Him already righteous...but because they take refuge in Him. The refuge-seeker is made righteous in his or her refuge-seeking.

Isn't that what a Christian is...someone finding their only secure refuge in Jesus?

I have a lot to do today. So do you. But, I'm gonna try not to believe that what I get done or don't get done, what I do well or do not do well, what I obligate or don't obligate myself to defines me. There is no refuge, no protection, no blessing for me in all that. "There is no rock like our God!"

My refuge and and your refuge, my protection and your protection, my blessing and you blessing, my shield and your shield are found only in Jesus the Messiah, the King of kings and Lord of lords.

-Mike Rydman, Lead Pastor, Radiant Church | Juneau