April 2
DebDay 19: Necessary alignment.
I'm sensing my own emotional reserves depleting. Yesterday (and now today) I find myself on edge. Deb saw (endured with grace) that in me too, to my shame. My late afternoon speed walk didn't "fix me" the way I had hoped.
This early morning, while driving to Paul's house for our now weekly "elder meeting walk," the reoccurring thought hit me again. More likely, the Holy Spirit was asking: What do I truly believe to be true? Phrased differently, "Where is your faith, Dude?" Convicted, I realize that my faith and my attitude don't always align.
2 Samuel 22 and 23 records some of King David's final thoughts, like a retrospect of his life's experience with the Lord. In chapter 22 (verses 2-7, specifically) I found the beginning of a psalm inserted into what otherwise would look like an historical accounting of his guys. David's faith and attitude align.
"He (David) said, 'The LORD is my rock and my fortress and my deliverer,
my God, my rock, in whom I take refuge, my shield, and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold and my refuge, my savior; you save me from violence.
I call upon the LORD, who is worthy to be praised, and I am saved from my enemies.
For the waves of death encompassed me, the torrents of destruction assailed me; the snares of death confronted me.
In my distress I called upon the LORD; to my God I called...
...From his temple he heard my voice, and my cry came to his ears.'"
You can see it; David proclaims where (Whom) he has put his trust throughout his long and eventful lifetime. For me, stating the reality of who God is and what He has done through Jesus is a vital, necessary and life re-calibrating exercise. I will endeavor to do just this throughout this new day, because I don't know what else to do.
But, you gotta love the last little bit - God hears. He is listening. He acknowledges our cries to Him. We only find ourselves crying out when there is something worth crying out about. And crying out for salvation only comes when we accept reality - we cannot save ourselves.
"I call upon the LORD, who is worthy to be praised, and I am saved from my enemies."
I have no choice, no other viable options. I will praise Him today. I will trust Him to save me from my enemies.
Especially when the enemy is me.
He is the only One who can align my faith and my attitude; and I need Him to do just that.
