December 13

Day 274: I Probably Should Work On That!

I have a homework assignment, so I'm devoting this month to cramming as much subject content into my head as possible. I'm under a timeline, even if that timeline is self-imposed.

I am currently reading five books, all on the subject of coaching. I have been, and am a coach for some younger pastors and new church-planters. But to be honest, I've never sat still long enough to figure out what coaching really is to be. I've never codified any of it. I've just done it.

While racing through my five books, and reading through innumerable PDF's, it really crazy how they all devote space to the same two things: Coaching is not in the context of heirarchy, but relationship. Two travelers on the same road.

And, coaching is not a conduit for dispensing information, but is best accomplished by listening. Asking good questions, and then listening for the response. Teachers teach. Mentors mentor. Bosses boss. But coaches, evidently, are best serving the other when they simply ask questions. And listen. Patiently.

I can see that I'm pretty good at the first. I'm not much for titles, or feigned respect, or forced heirarchy. Sure, there's a place for experience and wisdom gained, that can be shared with someone else.

But coming from me, it usually sounds like, "Don't do what I did!" Or, to mess up the old Nike ad line: "Don't Be Like Mike!"

But, and to be honest, I'm not so good at the second; the listening part. What's brutal is that I get reminded of this almost every day. My wife is the superlative listener. And she asks superlative questions.

I remember back 30+ years ago now. A youth group kid (now a shirt tail relative) I was discipling said to me, "I don't need you to fix it. I need you to listen." (What wife hasn't ever said that to her husband, by the way?)

But, and as I'm reading and learning, asking questions, and listening for the answer has a purpose. Self-discovery. When a student simply regurgitates an answer, it may be correct, but rarely is it retained over time.

Whereas, when any of us are led to discover for ourselves a profitable or correct response, it's the self discovery that contributes to lasting impression and conviction.

Being a preacher causes for some (me included) a possible conundrum. On one hand, we're paid to show up and talk, (like I will do in just an hour or so.) But on the other hand, who retains anything I might say?

Church attenders are content to sit and listen. Be spoon fed. And forget. (Hebrews 5:12-13) Disciples, on the other hand, are learning to feed themselves; and see teaching from others as added but not core benefit.

So it gets me to wondering. Are we content to collect church attenders? Or are we making disciples? Are we spoon feeding, or allowing space for people to feed themselves on God's Word?

Perhaps in response to my questions I should ask myself a question. Do I listen? Do I ask questions that will allow the other person to discover for themself a profitable and correct response?

I probably should work on that!

-Mike Rydman, Lead Pastor, Radiant Church Juneau