June 29
DebDay 107: Decision-Making
I woke this (again, rainy) Monday morning feeling rather flat. Not at all sure how to define "flat," but flat I am.
The reality of not being correct has set in. Second guessing myself is now an almost daily occurrence. Part of decision-making is knowing whatever decision made will negatively affect at least someone.
The sense of "this is only temporary" is starting to wane. None of us see the end in sight. Foresight now means looking no father beyond the next few days at a time. Planning is fluid. Vision is adjustable.
Actual vs. Digital is our new conundrum, the proverbial rock and hard place. When gathering digitally, we potentially include more people, at the loss of feeling artificial, if not contrived. This is perhaps the "greatest good for the greatest number" option.
Be it Sunday mornings or GC's, if we meet in person, the attendees get to enjoy each others' company and continue remembering how to exercise social skills. But this comes with the cost of others not willing or able to participate.
On one hand, yesterday's sunny Sunday morning should have seen us gathered somewhere, even at one of our many beaches. But who (including me) wants to be the catalyst for someone else getting sick. (I write this with my wife beginning a travel-related 14-day quarantine here at home.)
Experienced leaders know (ironically, through experience) that leadership comes with almost always disappointing someone in the camp.
Whatever I choose is right...and wrong...at the same time.
So today, Monday morning, I am left with no decision-making scaffolding, no solution matrix, but to rest in the sovereignty of God. Sounds trite, maybe, but it's all I have.
Psalm 116:7 says, "Return, O my soul, to your rest; for the LORD has dealt bountifully with you."
This rest for the heart is not based on circumstances. It's not based on responses to decisions made. It's not even based on how I feel waking up on a rainy Monday morning.
It's based on what I read next.
"For you have delivered my soul from death, my eyes from tears, my feet from stumbling; I will walk before the LORD in the land of the living."
Lord willing, years from now I won't remember a thing of how I feel today. I may have forgotten my present emotional state by this evening, for that matter.
But I will know I've been delivered. And will be delivered
And hopefully that includes the conundrum of my decision-making.
I bet it does.
-Mike Rydman, Lead Pastor, Radiant Church | Juneau
