November 30

Day 261: Willful Departure

Job is always an interesting read for me. Is it history? Poetry? Allegory? Morality play? Laced throughout with the predominant question, "Will Job just curse God and die?" Will he depart from the faith he has previously held so dear?

He had lost everything dear to him; wealth, possessions, children, reputation in the community, even his own health. He learned on the fly how to mourn. He even knew who took it from him.

Upon hearing of his comprehensive and insurmountable losses, he responds (at least in the first part) as any ancient middle-easterner would. He "arose and tore his robe and shaved his head and fell on the ground...and worshipped." I find this absolutely amazing.

Worship is "ascribing worth" to someone or something. In response to his many losses, Job worships God, saying, "Naked I came from my mother's womb, and naked shall I return. The LORD gave, and the LORD has taken away; blessed be the name of the LORD."

Saying, God be blessed, because God is worthy to be blessed. He is right in all He does. God owes me nothing.

We are all challenged to worship God in these days. We all feel the loss of things we hold dear. For many of us, this most recent Thanksgiving weekend reminded us of Thanksgiving's past, when we gathered with many more people. When we didn't have to wear masks or socially distance ourselves, or limit the people in our homes. When we laughed more. When we were more thankful than sour.

We equate blessings with good experiences. We are easily drawn to want more from God than we want more of God. We want what we want, instead of what we need. That is our human tendency. And God knows this.

The apostle Peter thought he was following Jesus to a throne and a kingdom. He was correct, but not in the way Peter thought. He did not yet understand that the way to the Kingdom would be through a cross. That he would have to give up self worship to gain the God worth worshipping.

Matthew 16:24-25 "Then Jesus told his disciples, 'If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will find it.'"

You will know yourself the most when you are carrying your cross. And we will not all come to the same conclusions about ourselves.

We are and will see people, even some people we love and have shared history with, depart the faith. They will mourn their losses, and move on toward autonomy and isolation and independence. Toward self-actualization. Toward apostasy.

For how can a good God give bad gifts? will be the question. How can church life be life at all, if forced to gather only digitally? How can I love someone I haven't seen since March? If God loves me, how is it I am so very unhappy?

Job asked these same questions, in his own way. And yet, his was not a willful departure. In spite of his own tangible losses and sad feelings, and some almost but not quite true counsel from friends, he still held on.

It may be this holiday season will be the strangest and perhaps the hardest many of us will remember in our lifetimes. Many of us will be tempted to drown out the sorrows of this month with spending, or films, or TV sports, or outdoor experiences, or self-improvement endeavors. All of it white noise.

Because we will not want to acknowledge the sorrows in our own hearts. So we will be tempted to drown those sorrows with something else. Functional apostasy.

And we will be tempted to disagree with Job who said, "the LORD gave, and the LORD has taken away; blessed be the name of the LORD."

It may be, that in God's expansive grace to us, He is walking us through this hard season for an ultimate purpose. That we would bless the name of the Lord, and our own stories not be one of willful departure.

-Mike Rydman, Lead Pastor, Radiant Church Juneau