October 28

Day 228: When it's Hard to Say 'Good Bye'

We'll admit. There are times when it's really hard to say 'good bye.' We don't do it very well.

Relationships change over time. Sometimes, it's the maturation of those in relationship. (Think of those friends in junior high who wouldn't necessarily continue as friends today.) Sometimes, relationships are altered because one or the other moves away.

It happens in churches, too. There are times when someone simply chooses to create more space, more distance from their church. Covid season is teaching us that some people, using Covid as a cover, are departing their church...because they want to.

But rarely do we see these same departing people make a healthy exit. In some cases, they can't leave without dropping bombs and launching grenades. Looking for justification for leaving their church, they will utilize a list of complaints or unmet expectations to do so.

But what we seem to see more of here in Alaska is this. People just fade away. By design. Sure, we may hear "We're just so busy." Or, "The stresses of life have overtaken us." Or, "Covid has caused us to be fearful."

Or because the tenets of the gospel, and the command to be in community with the saints now seems such an unnecessary bother.

Usually, it's nothing is said at all. Silence. Just crickets.

How's this, you ask? No pick up's or returned phone calls. Text messages are ignored. Interaction on social media ceases. If they were tithing, they've stopped. It's almost like the pre-schooler who thinks if she just puts a blanket over her head, no one can see her, right?

Here is the sad reality; one that none of us will admit to, but it's a reality all the same...church for some of us is nothing more than a disposable commodity. Useful, even valued, until it isn't useful or valued anymore.

With ongoing Covid restrictions, it appears that some folks no longer miss being connected with their church. Because while spatially near, they were never really relationally near. They simply do not miss church. Because they never did.

Households who enjoy extended family in their immediate locale are content to exclusively depend on them for support. Those who do not enjoy such proximity will continue to live in isolation.

Some friendships within the church will continue. But will continue outside of the church context, so it is hoped and assumed.

As a pastor, and knowing other pastors leading other churches, I want to ask this: Is it possible some honesty could help everyone?

I'll answer my own question. I think it would. Even when it's hard to say 'good bye.'

-Mike Rydman, Lead Pastor, Radiant Church Juneau